8 years ago
Driving from Red Bank NJ to Manhattan i was filled with excitement as the horizon of the city came into view, its magical lights shimmering ahead. The end of the tour was coming into view, although there is still much to do and 10 more shows. Behind me the Pittsburg and Alexandra shows, they flit by with all the glamour of my jumper. Each day is a night. Radio shows and travel, travel and shows, its all so much, too much cake for one. My dark moments leave me down hearted and buckled with tiredness and with that comes the negativity of my day, but once on stage the lights come up and its all tits and teeth. Glenn copes well with the touring but I’m sure he too is tired, i know he is. However I’m grateful for the people who come to see us play and love our polished cannon of songs which weep with all the hunger of a child. New York brings hope and a day off, much needed for me, but its another day when all said and done and as much as i try to treat myself to some down time I’m up and walking the streets but not shopping, just looking and being. In my room i wade through a few Zeds. Dinner with wonderful Natalie and Riley and his lovely Mrs D, Natasha. The city speaks with sounds, it spits shadows along the sunny streets where i walk. It reminds me of all the times when i have been here, so very many, some so far back i can’t remember what i was thinking or who i was, and what i was doing. I think too much and look for the tap, to turn it off would be a start, but not a chance. Last night Red Bank was so amazing, i can’t remember a thing about it i was so gone from myself, so tired from a five hour drive with Sat Nav problems and interviews on route, one more straw and this camel. I was saved by all of that by the sight of this city at midnight glowing like a ship at sea, the incredible energy that it spends rolls me over and knocks me out. From my 16th floor window i can see the World and me down there too, waiting to find out where the pages turn. Home is so far away, yet closer now and Lou is on her way this week how fantastic will that be. But wait, i hear the sound of sleep in the corners of my room, I’m wrapped in tomorrows coming, and all who sail in her. Nothing changes, the door man the breakfast waiters the staff, the lights and the ambiance of home New York. From my car i saw this vision of a city like no other and here i am, its all there is. But if i sleep gone is this day, if i sleep then tomorrow comes and all that is will be, but in this moment I am stranded with my eyes bleeding from fear, from the weight of not being in the still of my life, the day has gone, I’m holing on. My Dad spent 6 years and 233 days away at War, without a laptop an i phone, cheese cake or views of the future. My hero he who battled with the unknown for the unknown. Where is this lesson for me.